89 RE-Directing for new Momentum
Hey, this is Anne with your Coaching on the Go, talking about momentum.
It’s very easy to get momentum started.
You just think a second thought about the same thing and you’ve got a momentum.
And if you’ve got this momentum playing out over time, it gets difficult to shift it.
If you think about exercise, how when you haven’t been exercising, the momentum of being sedentary is very difficult to shift.
It’s not easy to start exercising again.
Or if you have momentum on eating a certain way, you’re eating carbs and sugar every day, it’s not easy to shift the momentum there.
Whatever we do, we create a momentum.
Yesterday I mentioned a relationship that I was really enjoying, on some level, that was a relationship I was deeply embedded in and wanted to continue, and it stopped, or it shifted dramatically.
It was painful and I missed it, and I would think about it often, to the point where I would realize that I went to sleep and woke up with it, not feeling good about it, feeling terribly sad, and throughout the day feeling like I was in a nightmare of sorts.
And finally, to shift it, I went to different workshops, I read books.
This was before I had a coach, before I had an incredible therapist that does kind of life coaching things with me, I was working it out on my own.
Before I could do that, before I had these other tools available, I finally decided I needed to shift my momentum.
I could feel it.
I was spending possibly 40% of my day in something I didn’t want to feel in my life, and it was becoming a big story.
So I began to stop myself.
Once I recognized it, I decided that any time that I noticed I was thinking about it, I would stop and redirect.
And it wasn’t simple, but I would stop, I would say to myself, “I can see why you’re still thinking about that, it was really important to you and you were very connected to it.”
And I was kind to myself about it, and then I would say, “Okay, but now what would you like to think about?
We’re choosing new things, so what would you like to think about that you really love, that makes you happy?”
So I’d shift that way, and the more I did that, the easier it got, and I started to create a momentum of shifting to the point where now it doesn’t have to be about that topic.
That topic isn’t in my mind anymore.
But when I do start to repetitively go to something that doesn’t feel good, I have that technique available to me.
Or I recognize that I’m repeating, I’m going back into something that I can’t make sense of.
I haven’t been able to resolve it, so I continue to go back into it, kind of like something is healing over and you open it back up.
Once I discover I’m doing that, I use the same technique.
“Okay, great. I understand that you keep going back to that.
I keep going back to that, now where would I like to go?
It’s not taking me anywhere productive.
What would you like to think about?”
And I often choose to think about a future thing that I’m working towards, that I’m excited about.
It has taken me to the point where many times during the day, when I have some free time, I think about what I would like.
I think about it in detail.
I go there, I feel it.
So your strategy for today in the Coaching on the Go is to take the topics that you came up with and noted, and will continue to know note throughout the week and maybe much past this, but the things you noted yesterday as topics that your mind sets into to work on that aren’t pleasant, that are not taking you in the direction of your vision.
There are things sometimes that you feel obligated to check back in on; maybe a loss, someone passing away, something you feel like you have to remember.
It’s almost like some people feel like they’ve got to not forget this thing that doesn’t feel good because otherwise it’ll seem like it was too easy to get through it.
So whatever those things are, whatever they are, pick one that you’re thinking of regularly and apply this tool.
When you catch yourself thinking of it, be gentle with yourself, be kind, talk sense about it, talk intelligently with yourself about it, give yourself an understanding, and then ask yourself where you’d like to go now.
“So, now what?
What would you like to think about now?”
And get in that habit.
Start practicing that, and we’ll continue with this tomorrow.
Sending you love.